I just found out today…
I was sitting down eating an apple when my grandma says, “Did you tell your doctor you eat a lot of apples?”
I sat there with a puzzled face, “Why would I do that?”
She said, “Because of what happened…”
She was referring to my hemorrhoids which were probably caused by constipation. I think it was due to something else and my doctors are looking into it.
But I thought it was funny that she brought up my eating habits. I don’t really eat a lot. Probably one meal a day with a small snack for dinner. I’ve been trying to get myself to consume healthier calories, but I always fall back to old habits.
My thoughts wandered off to the food I was given in the hospital last year. My thoughts will probably always go there for everything. I hated it there.
They gave me three meals a day. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner, except for the days, I wasn’t allowed to eat for my procedure. Sometimes a snack in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep or wake up for blood draws and checkups.
Three of the same meals almost the whole time. An egg omelet filled with cheese, bacon, a bagel, and a juice box in the morning. A hamburger with lettuce and tomatoes, fries or a salad, jello, and a juice box for lunch. I don’t remember what I had for dinner. Something I probably didn’t want to eat.
Then they would write on the whiteboard how much I would eat. It almost made me not want to eat since I felt I was being judged on what I was eating and I didn’t eat that much. But I had to be on a “healthy diet”.
It’s funny that they didn’t ask me what my eating habits were before. And that they don’t ask me now. They kinda just assumed I was eating three meals a day and told me not to overload myself on vitamin K and eat big salads if I didn’t usually eat them.
On my monthly doctor visit, they will ask if my eating habits have changed and truthfully my eating habits are shit. So I don’t know what to say, except that they haven’t changed.
Some mornings, I’ll get up early and make myself a small fruit salad with yogurt. I’ll make myself a sandwich with veggies in the afternoon. And whatever my grandma makes later in the night. Sometimes oatmeal or cereal or fruits and nuts for a snack.
Then other days, I don’t eat. Whatever my grandma makes for dinner and that’s all. I’ll usually do that for several days until I look in the mirror and become unsatisfied with how I look and start eating for only a few days and stop again.
So when my grandmother sat there and questioned my apple-eating habit, I guess I was wondering why fruits made you constipated. That’s weird.
